After my last breakup I thought I would like my solitude. Yes, I do like it but I am also missing conversations with other grown-ups, that human connection that makes life a little more exciting. So I started looking for a partner. One of the obvious choices was online dating. After some research I settled on one app that seemed more geared to finding a lifetime partner than others.
Here are some of my observations:
A bad-boy-archetype who posts edited, professional quality photos of himself (or gets the stock photos from the internet) and writes a bio that makes you believe he is an alpha male, super-dude who has no need to work because he has already succeeded and now only hangs out to have fun in life. This makes me ponder how many millionaires that are single currently live in San Diego. He posts that his intention is to find a perfect woman to share his incredible riches while having fun. He presents himself as a somewhat arrogant, sex-driven macho with an adorable touch of sensitivity and an air of intellectual superiority. This confidence-exuding man smiling from a picture, posing in his wetsuit or a pilot uniform, showing a row of pearly-white teeth, winking seductively at us; he writes he is not looking for a long-term relationship unless he comes across a lady of his dreams… someone who will knock him dead. Sometimes, I have a feeling these eloquently sarcastic bios have been skillfully taken from the internet from some other cool guy who wrote these words to calculatedly lure in unsuspecting naïve women. This seems such a great word-trap to seduce women who are highly independent, intelligent and picky when it comes to choosing a partner. Browsing through the photos of dozens of online profiles one can find these few gems between the average beer-loving game-goer: the ones that seem too good to be true.
Any ambitious woman will feel this to be a challenge for her, to convince him that she is that one in a million, the one who is smart, beautiful and confident enough to attract him and have him finally committed. This macho of a man, pure intellect on a testosterone will naturally want only her as soon as she messages him. My question is, what happens next? Does the guy hiding behind the photos of some anonymous super-model (that can be found online if you search a little) look anything like that? Does he sound like that? Or is he just using a technique that works?
I did a little research to find that this is called catfishing and while sometimes it is about money, more often it is about the thrill of wearing a disguise, assuming a new personality that allows them to attract higher profile women than they would usually be able to meet in real life.