When my life is on the right track, when things go smoothly and the sun shines I find it easy to follow spiritual practices and teachings. In fact it seems as if I am in sync with the Universe and the flow of life. However, over the last year I was going through a painful and dark period in my life.
It was very hard and isolating to experience the depth of emotional pain and yet keep on living not knowing where my life was taking me. I knew I was about to encounter a huge shift and needed to adjust, grow internally and accept the change. Somehow, spiritual knowledge that I had acquired over the years seemed to not be helping me that much as I was in the thick of it. My days were filled with fear and anxiety even though I sensed the new and better would eventually come.
I think my main problem was not trusting my own self. I trusted the Universe but doubted I deserved any good. My thoughts ranged from very depressive to hopeful. Slowly, ever so slowly I managed to rebuild my self-confidence and trust in myself. I immersed myself in healing music, took nature walks and hugged the trees. I spoke to animals and listened to what they were telling me. I learned to trust my intuition again, as it was all along telling me things would go well for me.
Our society teaches us to ignore the intuition, we live our life guided by five basic senses and reject any phenomena not explainable by them. That’s why it is so hard to follow our heart because we are conditioned to trust what we see, hear, feel and sense. Delicate and subtle messages we receive from our heart are often discarded. Yet, in this one year long process of being desperate, scared and anxious I learned to give more validity to this subtle communiques. It took heart to reject what the rest of the world was telling me and accept what my intuition whispered to me.
At the end, I acquired a new higher sense of understanding of my journey and of who I am. I moved on from the darkness of my preconceived misery and saw the sunshine. All I needed was to stop being scared and make a change. As soon as I was ready to do so, the things started falling into place, the Universe allowed me to reach for the stars.