Tonight is the night of new moon and I am struggling to put my mind to rest and stop looking for solutions when all I truly need is to give in and trust. That one simple truth that I have been trying to master for a long time somehow eludes me tonight. I am all worked up and tense, trying to envision, foresee and guess what the future might have in store for me.
Yes, it is hard for me as, I like to have a plan, and a detailed one at that. It gives me security and peace of mind to know what’s ahead. And yet, here again, my life is throwing the same difficult lesson at me. It feels so hard to navigate in the murky waters of existence without a compass. Why is it so hard to let go?
Why do I have to doubt my own intuition now? I have been toiling for years to make that quiet yet insightful voice of my heart really strong so that I could hear it well. It proved to work well under varying circumstances. I have heard it in the midst of my self-inflicted dramas when I was agonizing over the choices of my love life and the path I need to choose. Every single time I listened to my heart and followed its advice I was on the right track. So why tonight?
I have heard the answer to my question many many times. It was whispered by the wind, spoken to me by the tree I hug so often and I could read it in the cloudless sky. I have heard the voice inside my heart telling me that it was all right and still… I cannot let go of my distrust… Is it because it is so against the logic? Because I am going against the rules?
It is shocking to see so many signs pointing to let go of my doubt. I see them everywhere. I talked to my best friend and he suggested to relax and just be. He knew what my tired soul is going through and offered a heartfelt piece of advice – the same I heard in my dream. Then I opened my Facebook page only to see the same message right in front of my eyes:
“Listen to your heart, don’t allow fear to dictate your choices.”
So now I decided to make a conscious choice and be a little lighter and a little more relaxed and trustful. I will burn the candles and incense tonight to celebrate the new moon and dance away my fears and doubts.